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hey this is Leo for actualised org and in this video we are going to talk about the topic of judgment alright so let's talk about this topic of judgment very very critical topic for doing deep levels of personal development so I'm very excited to break into this one and crack it wide open what is judgment and why should we care about it why is it good why is it bad and what can we do about being overly judgmental so let's let's talk about that for a second ultimately let's get an understanding of what judgment is judgment when you judge someone or something or some situation or yourself ultimately what's going on there is that your mind is bifurcating the world it's splitting it apart it's putting arbitrary divisions into a reality that is ultimately undivided so what's going on here is that you're seeing something in reality that you either like or dislike and you start to label it and usually the labels are good and bad so you look at things in the world and you judge them you evaluate them it could be a person it could be that person's appearance it could be that person's behavior it could be that person's philosophy or politics or religion it could be what that person does with his life the lifestyle they choose to live or it could be a thing you could look at a car and judge it as being pretty or ugly or you could look at a building or you could look at your computer or you could look at any number of inanimate objects or even animate objects for that matter animals the next thing that you could judge is you could judge situations circumstances of life maybe situations that you find self in things that are really gripping you and troubling you and problematic maybe it's a legal case that you have maybe it's some problem with the IRS maybe it's the the bill collectors that are after you or maybe it's a nice situation that you have maybe it's a nice relationship that you're in or a marriage that is gonna go forward or a graduation or some sort of ceremony so those are situations into it you could be judging and then of course the most important thing that you judge is yourself right so many of us go through life judging ourselves constantly every little thing that we're doing obviously the big things that we're doing but even the little micro things that you are doing in your life you're judging yourself for those you're telling yourself this is good this is good this is bad this is bad and you're making these kinds of evaluations so what's going on here and why is this happening well basically what's happening is that you are using your mind and you're using it for its survival mode right your mind has evolved to help you survive in this world and it's not really interested about your happiness it's more interested about your survival in your reproduction so your mind is always on the lookout putting valuations on things and situations and people to make sure that they're in line with your survival maximum fitness maximum fitness you're trying to maximize your fitness and you're always looking around and you're judging things and you're looking at stuff and you're saying you know is that useful to me or is that thing more useful to me how what's the relative usefulness of these things or maybe you see something and it's completely useless to you and so you disregard it or you label it as bad or you label it as good what is good and bad good and bad don't exist out in reality reality just is it's neutral it's completely neutral you might think that good and bad exists you might think that there's someone out there who's really truly bad and there might be certain things that are really truly good that's not the case that's your mind those are thoughts that are creating this division within a reality that's ultimately under now the problem with judgment is that if you go around judging things constantly all the time people situations things and yourself then you're going to be living a very miserable type of existence if you probably know someone like this in your life maybe a parent maybe a close or distant friend maybe somebody at work you know that that guy or that girl who is always looking at situations and always criticizing them always finding fault with something there's always something wrong something is not quite as they want it it's not as it ought to be and you know you know those types of people right there are critics they're cynics the problem with that kind of way of living life is is that you simply can't be happy with that judgment and Happiness they they really cannot coexist because happiness is just being content in the moment and being satisfied with how things are whereas judgment is the opposite of that it's making divisions and telling yourself that things ought to be different when things always ought to be different than what that means is that that puts you into a certain kind of like struggle and resistance with life that means that you have to change stuff that means things are not perfect things are not right and so you have to go out there and have to work and like fix things and people have to fix things for you in order to suit you living your life like this it's a really a losing game it's a game that's rigged against you you might think well but leo you know what's wrong with with judging things good and bad I mean clearly certain things are are bad for me bad for my life so it's a it's appropriate to judge those as bad things and certain things are great for my life and it's appropriate to judge those as good things for example a relationship a nice relationship I would judge that as good and something like you know someone coming and burglarizing my house while I'm out on vacation but you would call that bad so isn't that pretty pretty obvious common sense kind of stuff here's the problem is that you take it from that and you take it and then you keep going going and going and going it's where it leads you it's like the slippery slope and this is what's happening is that you're thinking that you're always going to be able to to get the good right the problem is that when you're when you're making these divisions of good versus bad what you're doing not only are you not being true to reality let's even forget that argument for a second but what you're doing there is that you're always then on the lookout for what's better right what's better so if one car is pretty and another cars ugly then you're not gonna want the ugly car you're gonna want the pretty car and then if this car is pretty then the other car that you see tomorrow might be even prettier might be even nicer so it's even better so right now relative to these two new cars this old one that you had that one is bad this new one is good and then the next day you might see an even better car a car that you like even more it's got even more features it's got even better gas mileage or whatever you look forward to car better performance looks more beautiful conceit more people now you have an even better car and now this car that you thought was the best suddenly now that's a bad car there's even a better car and now you see where this is going it's going into a never-ending cycle of looking for something better and what this leads to is this leads to endless action action action action action action and no real and no satisfaction you are that hamster that's chasing a piece of cheese and in a wheel and you're just running and running around in that wheel your whole life and so when you become very critical when you come very judgmental and you're judging things all the time is good and bad people things situation yourself then you're never going to be satisfied it's a it's a big game you you trick yourself and you tell yourself well if only I get a little bit of this good stuff and I get a little bit rid of all this bad stuff then I'll be happy but honestly it's the mindset that you're coming at it from if you train up that kind of mindset then even if we give you all the best stuff in the world what are you going to do you're going to wake up the next morning and you're going to start using that divisionary mind that you've developed over the years you're gonna use that divisionary mind to again.we then all the good stuff you're gonna start finding faults you're gonna start to nitpick stuff and it just becomes a huge trap so one thing you got to do is you got to start to notice how much you're judging things this is a very unconscious activity that's going on you might see someone walking down the street as you're driving on your way to work or you're driving back home and you just might see someone with some some weird haircut or some weird shirt and you just spontaneously judge that person you know make some sort of judgement ah sure that's ugly oh that cars is is awful or that person over there said something rude and he's a bad person or that idea that someone is talking about that's a stupid idea so you're always going through and you're and you're doing this and when you do this ultimately what happens is that you become very dissatisfied internally and it becomes very toxic you might know these types of people these types of people may become very toxic and then it's very hard to be in a relationship with them or it's very hard to have them as a friend because literally their toxicity will infect you and these types of people will tend to attract other types of toxic people and they'll form these toxic kind of bubbles and you do not want to get trapped into that nor do you want to be one of these toxic people so what do we do about this well first of all recognize the ideal situation the ideal situation is to be with reality as it is reality is neutral and you want to ideally treat it as such treat it as neutral stop assigning all these labels these labels is something that your mind is creating these are thoughts right these are thoughts just labels your sticking labels on stuff you see an object you stick a label on it you see a person you slap a label on it and all the sudden your reality is filled with these labels and you think that these labels are very real and these labels will then start to influence your behaviors your your thought patterns and then your feelings in your mood ultimately you want zero judgment in your life you got to become very conscious of how much judgement you're doing and then you want to have to kind of start to retrain yourself slowly to unhook from that to stop all the judging alright so the next point I wanted to make is about self actualization and so if you wash my self actualisation video which you should it's it's titled self-actualization I go into a deep definition Abraham Maslow's definition of what is self actualized human being is this is basically the greatest potential that you can unleash within yourself and a self actualized person one of the features there are many characteristics but one of the characteristics is that that self-actualized person he is not judging things all the time he's not coming at reality with a valuation mindset evaluation mindset is when you look at an object or a thing or a situation or a person and your relationship to it is is distorted because you look at it through a selfish set of lenses right I want you to notice this is this is a bit of a freaky experience when you go out and you start to notice yourself doing this because it happens unconsciously notice that when you're in a relationship with an object or a person or situation a lot of times what's happening there is that you're coming at it from what's in it for me right what's in it for me so you might be typing on your keyboard and all of a sudden you get mad at your keyboard because it's malfunctions and your computer is malfunctioning and now you get upset and you look at that keyboard not as an object in the world that is part of reality not as a marvel of human engineering or anything like that you look at it as purely a means to accomplish something for yourself right that keyboard is a means to go and and search something online or to watch some video or to write an email or do something else but you're not really treating that object in this entirety and so this creates a very subtle but also significant dysfunction within your life is when you start to treat objects and things and people just in in a relationship where you know it's what can you do for me what is this object doing for me what is this what is this situation doing for me and is it doing what I wanted to do is it advancing my survivability is it advancing my happiness if you comment life like this you're never going to be happy because you're was gonna be able to find stuff that is not doing what you wanted to be doing and you're always gonna be constantly dissatisfied and in fact there's a really deep pleasure that you can get when you drop all that when you drop all the thoughts and all the judges in the criticism and you just kind of be right you be with the object you'd be with the situation without needing anything from it you know maybe your computer is malfunctioning take a second and just like be with it without expecting anything from it see how that changes that situation it can be a pretty powerful thing this is something they have to work towards as you're becoming more self actualized because ultimately self-actualize people are very good at this this is where they're deriving a lot of their strength and their happiness from it's just being with reality letting it be wow I want you to really start to notice that as you're going through life you're making a lot of what I call micro judgements so up to this point we've really been talking about macro judgments these are obvious judgment that you make of people you know someone cuts you off you think that he's an obvious kind of judgment so obviously want to cut that out or someone says something at work that you don't quite like and you judge him for it those are obvious things less obvious is the judgments that you make of situations and objects and this is happening on a subconscious level almost every second of your life here's an example you might for example go and decide that your want to cook some dinner so you go and what do you do well you put up you pull out a plate and you maybe you pull out some some utensils and some silverware then maybe you open your fridge and as you're going through that process you're making little judgments you're not just being and you're not just doing but you're analyzing and criticizing so maybe you pull out that plate and you look at that plate and you you you look it at the plate and you you see it as something as a utility to you right oh this plate this is a little bit too small let me grab that bigger plate this plate is no good I need a bigger plate because I'm making a big salad okay so you could have a big plate now you got a big plate now you think to yourself okay I need to I need to put some stuff on this plate so you open the fridge and you're looking through the fridge and already as you're looking to the fridge you're analyzing you're judging you might be criticizing any may be saying oh okay that that tomato right there that's no good I'm not interested in tomato right now damn it I wish I would have bought some lemons I don't have any lemons right now okay so that's not gonna work and you just kind of like go through and then maybe you spot something that you like you spot some let's say you spot some some spinach okay some spinach so you grab that and you tell yourself Oh spinach good that's healthy so you pull it out see as you're going through and doing that you're not really being in reality what you're being is you're being in your own mind and your own head going through all these thoughts and all this and if you live your life like this then you become very very neurotic you robbed yourself a lot of power and basically you can never be satisfied so I want you to start to notice these little judgments that you're making a great example of this is uh have you ever have you ever been like out in nature maybe hiking seen a beautiful sunset or a sunrise and you just were out in nature maybe it's like some picturesque view and you see the Sun setting through the clouds and the the sunbeams are shining through the clouds and it's just beautiful it's orange and purple and and all of this and you're just kind of standing there and you're just kind of transfixed by at all and you take it in and it just feels it feels beautiful feels nice it feels very peaceful and calm and you feel like you're you're one with the world you're one with with reality well the reason that that's actually happening the reason that that's making you very fulfilled inside and consent is because you are dropping all those judgments now you might think that well it's a beautiful it's a beautiful scene that's why it's because the beauty of the scene you know that's something very majestic that I rarely get to see that's not actually why you're enjoying it so much that makes a little bit easier for you to drop the judgments but the reason you're really enjoying that situation is simply because the beauty of that lets you drop the needing of anything and when you're standing there in relationship to that sunset you're you're not trying to to gauge that sunsets value to you you're not trying to get anything from the sunset you're just there and you're experiencing it and that experience is an end in itself it just is and you just are and that's a beautiful thing and that makes you joyful inside and so that's what you got to start to cultivate more in your day-to-day life it doesn't require a sunset or some beautiful scenery or traveling overseas to experience that you can start to experience that right here right now with more mundane parts of your life so the take-home here the exercise that I'm going to give you is an exercise on mindfulness I actually have a video that talks about how to do proper mindfulness it's called mindfulness you might want to search for that it'll be a nice companion here but here's what I want you to do I want you to be very mindful over the next few days of how you're making both big macro judgments and little micro judgments I want you to be mindful just conscious of it don't judge yourself don't try to stop yourself from making these judgments just notice notice yourself judging what do you judge cars people situations things yourself what you're doing with yourself start to notice that start to notice how you're in relationship with objects and things and people expecting something expecting utility putting valuations on different things saying that this is good this is a little bit better this is worse notice yourself doing that and notice how it's affecting you notice how it's expecting the quality of your day-to-day experience just notice don't try to stop it don't try to control it if you do this and you stay conscious for the next few days then you try this out you're gonna have some some realizations you might even have an epiphany or two as you notice yourself putting all these labels on reality and you're going to notice just how artificial that is that's not natural that's artificial to your neurotic mind all right so that's gonna be powerful exercise which will start to get you more aware of how much you're judging things and start to turn things around for you alright and then feel free to continue using that in the future the more mindful you are of how much you're judging the you're gonna be judging so that's a really good way to start to tackle and to turn this thing around alright this is Leo I'm gonna be signing off this what I have to say about judgment go ahead post me your comments down below leave me some feedback go ahead and like this share this click the like button right now if you would if you liked this and of 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